I’m soon to be unemployed and so I’ve been thinking about some things I could do in my spare time. I’ll be a part time student living in London so I’m probably going to want to work for someone with more money than sense so I can get paid £££££ part time. So, I think I’m going to apply to work for…. say it with me…. more money than sense…. Teresa May.
I could be her PR gal because clearly whoever is currently doing it needs to be fired. Even as someone who is not exactly (read: not at all) a fan of T May or any other Tory ever, I think I could do a better job of turning around public opinion on our PM. I propose that in order to get people on side, Theresa needs to bring out a range of fidget spinners. GENIUS RIGHT?
They could be blue, and act as a distraction from her distressing opinions. All that spinning would surely hypnotize some people into liking her. She could turn it into a small business and leave politics entirely. What a utopia right? Do we dare to dream?
Imagine, one less person who voted for Section 28 out of the House of Commons AND MORE FIDGET SPINNERS TO PLAY WITH. I know I’m biased because it was my idea but I’d by a “This is not a U turn” fidget spinner. I would be proud to salvage May’s public image and in turn push that Tory merch.
Stay tuned for more updates on my burgeoning unemployment. Hopefully it will not come before T May’s xo